|Posted on Wednesday, March 31, 2004 - 7:13 pm: |
I know that I am very late in sharing my comments but I do believe that having a joint account for shared living expenses is a good move. I believe in having an individual bank account for independance.
As for big items, it would depend if it is a mutual decision to purchase it and with the understanding that if things don't work out that it would be sold and divvie it up equally. If one has more income than the other, it would be important that it is not used to make the other feel inferior etccccc.........material things are secondary to respect, love and trust.
|Posted on Sunday, November 30, 2003 - 3:08 pm: |
two people enter a relationship, both contribute to it.what if your partner is an invalid or for some reason cannot contribute monetarily. money matters cause many relationships to fail and thats unfortunate. materialistic things are bought and can be sold. im inclined to believe that remaining in an unhappy, loveless relationship for any reason especially materialistic reasons is unfortunate. im always amazed at the compromises we are willing to make in our lives for whatever our reasons, be it fear, co-dependency or simply for what we think are the good things in life that we buy with money. i dont even suggest that i have any of the answers, but i know that if the relationship is based on monetary percentages or materialistic things it may have trouble succeeding.
|Posted on Saturday, November 15, 2003 - 12:33 pm: |
I for one belive in sharing but to a point. Been there done that on sevral relationships and have seen many relationships that are 'tied' down. When you share all and something goes wrong 20 yrs down the road...then what do you do....and a lot stay together because of it and therefore cannot build a new life with anyone else. I for one would never put my car/house/property in joint names....and this does not always mean you don't trust them...this means you have good sense for both of you and for the future. No one knows what the future brings and down the road it could cause many many problems both financially and emotionially. Lets face it life is not always as it seems in the start of any relationship. As 'young' couples start out times can be tough and these tough times can lead to breaking up....other times one goes further in their career than others and makes more money and then things can really go bad or good! I believe in sharing the financial burden...kitty for living expenses but each have their own money for their independence....when it comes to buying a house/car/property then it should be done individually. Does not mean no one trust each other....it is good common sense financially for each of them. There are living wills and papers that can be brought into it to give each other their properties etc etc. BUT being tied down to a relationship because of material things is not good for anyone. No one wins.....Independence is far more important...the right to choose your future.
|Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 10:17 pm: |
This has been an issue for me since the very first relationship many years ago. In the first one we were young and believed very much in 'forever after', so we pooled our funds. We really didn't think of an alternative. But when my lover died I found myself in a quagmire and ended up paying dearly for our mutual possessions, house, cars etc.
Since then I have tried every way to share financially and I still don't have a good answer.
But I know that I am the most comfortable with keeping my money separate and keeping a joint "kitty" for shared expenses. But this can be interpreted as a lack of trust and hurt the partner.
I look forward to hearing how others handle this issue. Better than I do, I hope!
|Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 8:52 pm: |
What about percentage? Like if one person is making 'x' amount of dollars and the other makes twice as much, how about percent?
But unless you're great at math or own a Hewlett Packard 12C mortgage calculator, maybe buy what you want from your own funds and share what should be shared.
|Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 8:48 pm: |
Tuff question, Dot. I was in a 25+ year relationship and from the first day, all money belonged to us jointly. It was as real a marriage as one could get without buying a marriage license. Joint account for household, and each had a personal checking account. Everything else was jointly held, title to vehicles, and title to home. Worked very well for us, and even tho we are no longer lovers, it is still working well as roommates. Perhaps total trust we had in each other was one of the reasons the relationship lasted so long. Probably each couple needs to work out a plan that will best fit their financial needs.
|Posted on Wednesday, November 12, 2003 - 8:38 pm: |
I mean, is it better to pool funds, share equally from separate funds, contribute to a budget, share cost of big items, or buy them separately????